Memoirs of a sexual medicine woman
I was born around the end of the genteel post-victorian age of repression.
When faced with the dangers of their young english daughter being educated
amongst the wild hairy youth of Australia, my parents opted for a convent
in which, of course, sexuality did not exist except perhaps in the confessional
where as a protestant, I never set foot.
Sexual education consisted of dire warnings from nuns about tickling, and
threats of eternal punishment relative to looking at oneself whilst in
the shower. Since I was precocious in my development, the nuns would send
young girls to me to explain to them the mysteries of menstruation but
only at the moment of onset. Most girls thought they were dying and all
I could really tell them was that it happened to me too and I was still
alive, so probably they would be okay.
My first great love was a seminarian who left the priesthood and lived
with me in a state of awkward celibacy. He had become gay amongst the rigors
of seminary life: “the only love we ever got was from the other boys” ...We
parted ways and my journey through the flower child days of free love was
hampered by a sexual ignorance which in no way protected my innocence,
only left me more vulnerable to all the dangers of pregnancy, VD and heartache
that my parents had so assiduously tried to avoid by means of denial.
some fairly hefty abuse led me to seek out spirituality rather than life
in the ‘real’ world and so my twenties were spent sheltered in ashrams
and mystery schools where we focused exclusively on the ‘upper chakras’
(nothing below the belt). But as I approached sexual maturity (around 28
years it began, by my reckoning) I became aware that there was an energy
within me that was larger than the social and spiritual conditioning that
my small town, cult background were ever going to allow for.
So I left the country. my name, my history and my respectabilty and washed
up on the shores of a tropical island where the forces that guide the steps
of the brave and the very foolish, led me to the doors of the foremost
teachers of tantra in the western world. I became part of a maverick research
team.
I learned - no first I unlearned. I encountered the path of pleasure. We
who have been raised in judeo- christianity have been conditioned to grow
through suffering. Torture is our ultimate path to redemption. By contrast,
the tantric way could be stated in a nutshell “if it feels good it probably
is good”. Taken a little deeper, the feelings, sensations, emotions, breath,
the entire gamut of sensory awareness is encouraged to release, let go,
purify so that one may begin to feel without fear, guilt, anger or shame.
It took me at least ten years to reestablish innocence within my body.
Of course I was the 25th monkey - nowadays it’s easier, I hear. Women no
longer experience all the rapes of the twelve tribes of israel, the violations
of the turkish harems and the foot binding slavery of the chinese taoists
every time they enter the realm of sexual healing. But we did. The sexual
organs carry memory (where else would you store genetic memory if you were
a body?) I have assisted in healing rituals where dozens of women have
come together to clear these memories from their bodies. I have worked
with couples, singles, young and old (my oldest clients were a couple in
their late seventies who experienced a honeymoon after twenty or more years
of near celibacy owing to old sexual abuse trauma closing down the natural
pathway for love.)
My partially educated guess is that at least 75% of all women in the United
States have experienced sexual abuse and of those only about 30% are aware
of it. This means that there are also a lot of guilt-stricken ‘perpetrators’
wandering around - as confused as their ‘victims’ and equally in need of
healing. Australia is a little gentler, the percentages may be different,
but well-educated, untraumatised lovers are rare on this planet. For many,
the early days of love are simple and wonderful as the fresh waves of pheronomes
drown out the past and allow us the bliss of the present moment. But after
a while, the hormones ease up and the ghosts start whispering, interfering
with our natural birthright of joy in the flesh.
It is then that the modern practices of sexual healing can really assist
in bringing people out of the past and into the present. Once here it is
up to each one to choose - for some, the sexual experience is the simple
exchange of pleasure amongst lovers. It eases the communication between
male and female and is generally a lot more fun than process and argument
which tend to increase as sexuality diminishes in relationship. For others,
sexuality centered in present time is the ultimate meditation. It
attracts all the senses, stills the mind and involves a continuous yoga
revolving around love - Bhakti, Raja, Hatha Pranayama - and, in the natural
event of children, Karma Yoga are all contained in this wondrous act of
union. Then there are practises and possibilities for development that
can keep one occupied for decades. For the simple ones amongst us,
good sex is a natural expression of love - and it makes for a happier life.
Imagine that!
or check out www.sourcetantra.com
for the work of Charles Muir
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